"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."
Robertson Davies.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Weekends off.

I am sitting at work waiting for Sarahs shift to end.
I am ready to go home and sleep in preparation for tomorrows baby shower , it's actually kind of a milestone for me.
When we first found out we were gonna have a little one we decided that December was when we wanted to have the shower, it seemed a million years away.
Now its tomorrow.
It means we have about a month 'til the due date.
How weird is that?
I was idly looking at engagement rings today online, without really even thinking about it until I realized i was getting into it.
This is feeling very natural but also like I am sort of watching myself do it at the same time.
A detached sort of natural then I guess.
It looks like I know what I am doing even if I don't...alot of things have become that way as of late.
I'm not really complaining it just looks like I am.
I'm glad this is my life, I would change somethings If I could but I am happy, near satisfied even.
Now about that career...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

An open letter #2

Dear Brother,

So, it looks like 20 years buys me no explanation for you suddenly no longer speaking to me.
could it be you got hired, and your heads up your ass?
could it be that you have invented another thing i did wrong to you?
Or could it be that you feel that the son I have coming into this world in just over a month from now may make things even less about you?
A simple explanation will suffice, or I can safely say that "the only real family you have outside of your grandmother and sam" will give you the same treatment you give me.
And you can stop bragging about the niece that you ignore to your online friends.
So here you have now pushed a good friend away and also pushed him to say very angry things...again.
do you feel justified now?
am I the bad guy?
I hope so.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And now for the rest of us:
It seems I again am a horrible friend this time who knows why.
But it seems I do something to certain people, something that makes them do this.
I would love to know what it is.
Yes this is sorta an uncomfortable situation for the average blog reader to come across, its kinda dirty pool for me to expose nerves like this.
But I am ready to move on if communication has broken down between someone who once claimed me as his brother.
...back to normal blogging status.
This ends the dark shit for a while...I cant wait to see ya'll at the baby shower.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Sick.

When you are coming down with the flu you shouldn't travel to a cold wet swamp,
So this past weekend I went to the armpit of Texas...Houston.
On the way there I picked up the flu and some apple juice also a dark chocolate snickers bar.
mmmmm the flu.
While there Sarah and I visited the galleria, now if you know me more than a little bit I love malls...no I actually love them like a journey song at 4 am when your in the car all by yourself, in an embarrassed sort of way.
That being said, I fucking hated the galleria.
And more importantly my blind Austinite hatred for Houston was solidified.
How can one be ghetto and stuck up?
Any way while at the galleria I learned that I am a squat boulder of human flesh that 'normal' clothing stores offer nothing that a 65 year old man wouldn't think is the bees knees style-wise you understand.
Is this why I hate the galleria, cause I'm a fatty...no.
Maybe its part of it, but not a large part.
I went to a place called House of Pies, a diner without the interesting people...or good food, and for sure terrible fucking pies.
Our waitress was sweet and 90.
We later went to papadauxs it was canjun seafood, and it seems whenever I crave seafood I regret giving in...and I never crave cajun food, ever.
The food was pricey, and weird.
I ordered something called crabfingers, while the appetizing name may lead you to think that yummy was about to ensue it was the seafood equivalent to hot wings, tiny, tiny hot wings.
Too much work for too little payoff.
All the while I was Robo'd and battling the spins and this horrible flu thing.
Well it seems that now my sneezes make me want to die cause my chest feels like its gonna collapse and catch fire so I think I'd better Robo up and lay down.
be good kids.