"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."
Robertson Davies.

Friday, October 26, 2007


I am sitting here in my cube at work and I have to wonder if everyone gets the same itchy teeth, or painful skin feeling I get as the next workday approaches.

I'm sure that I'm in the minority here, but this condition I have has been with me since I was very young.
As my mother and I would approach the school building I would get a little flush and dizzy, just like when I pull up to work.

This feeling will strike from time to time, gladly it has stopped causing me to "lose" or leave my jobs as it once did, but still it's distracting.

Its like clinical laziness, I'll call it what it is...Deep down I am lazy.
It seems I always have been.
It presents in many ways but consistently it comes on like sickness, not anxiety...it escalates to anxiety.

Luckily I have the next 2 days off, maybe I will try to throw a late party for my birthday (which was this past wednesday).
I really do wish I could shake this feeling.
yeah here at work I occasionally have the time to whine.

More later as I plan to stay up the better part of tonite.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Latest.

Here we are a little over six months after my last post, our jobs are going well...we still are working in the same place and these six or so months have flown by.
Sarah is showing, our son Nikolai Never is prone to somersaults and kicking around in her tummy.
He dances when she eats pie...who doesn't dance when they eat good pie?
I am getting behind the wheel of Sarah's car more and more frequently.
I drove to Epoch last night, sure its just a few blocks from here.
A few long curvy, dark, crossing 2 main busy street blocks from here...I am proud of me.
Next week I will be 'celebrating' my 32nd year on this planet.
I have gotten my birthday off and the day after and we are planning something, most likely going out to eat with some friends and then maybe a party here at the house that weekend after.
See my other blogs for more new and fun stuff.
more later.